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Is Dowry a Must in Marriage

The 151th Session of English Salon of Riverside English Society

Dowries are sets of assets (money, material goods, real estate) that a bride’s family gifts to a groom when the two are wed. The purpose of a dowry is often threefold. First, it gives the bride and groom the money and goods that they will need to build a home together. Second, the loss of a dowry gives the bride some manner of protection in cases where her husband becomes abusive and/or the marriage ends in a divorce.

Dowries are conditional gifts, meaning, in essence, that the rule of “no takebacks” does not apply. Takebacks are very much on the table. In the case that a husband-and-wife divorce, the husband is expected to repay the dowry to the bride’s family. Lastly, dowries can serve as a kind of enticement to potential grooms, as a larger dowry could make a family’s daughter seem more marriageable. We won’t go into this too deeply as, frankly, the implications here are kind of gross. The opposite of a dowry is a “bride price,” also known as a “bridewealth.” As you might have deduced from the name, this is money that the groom would pay to the bride’s family in order to secure her hand in marriage. Once again, the implications here are … not great.

Dowries are an ancient practice. They’re practically as old as civilization itself. We’re not joking. Rules regarding dowries can be found in the Code of Hammurabi, one of the earliest sets of written legal codes known to man. Hammurabi was the king of Babylon, ruling from 1792 to 1750 B.C. This means that the Code of Hammurabi is almost 3,000 years old—and the customs surrounding dowries likely existed for centuries before being codified in the Code itself.

According to the Code of Hammurabi, a father whose daughter dies after she is married has no claim to her dowry if she has borne sons. The dowry belongs to them. However, if the man’s daughter dies before bearing any sons, then the dowry must be repaid to him—so long as the father has first repaid his daughter’s “purchase price” to the husband.

Dowries were also commonplace in Ancient Greece and the Roman Empire. While couples in modern-day society often marry for love, ancient marriages were more like business arrangements. In this context, the inclusion of a dowry and/or a bride price makes a lot of sense: It's an exchange of assets in order to facilitate the desired merger.

And dowries weren’t just a European thing, either. They were used in one form or another all across the world, including in Asia and Africa. Dowries are mentioned in the Quran and they were considered an important marriage custom in Ancient China. The only thing that varied from culture to culture was whether dowries were preferred over bride prices. Times fly by. Some changes took place in dowries, especially in the amount and then in the nature. Too many dowries to get married in many circumstances.

What is your viewpoint about dowries? Share your idea with us at the following venues and dates.

时间： 2022年11月12日周六上午10点至12点地点：北京市朝阳区东三环北路乙2号，中信保诚人寿大厦B座7层，非凡家族。